Jungle Freedom Fighters

So a while ago, in a fit of mild craziness I decided it was a good idea to buy a parachute on the internet. I bought it to make shelters and just generally mess around with in the garden rather than trying to jump off the roof of the house or anything.

The first attempt at making a shelter from it was very impressive but ultimately a bit crap since it didn’t give any protection from the wind or the rain.

Fortunately Aggy was up for the weekend so between the two of us ( after much discussion, tea and pondering ) we came up with version 2

It took us a couple of hours to put it up and peg it out and a large part of that was trying to untangle the para-cord that Aggy managed to make a mess of when he threw the spindle over a branch and the end of the spindle fell off and all the para-cord spilled off into a horrendous knot.

Next time it goes up it should take about 20mins to just put up and peg out.

When it came to taking it down and storing it I decided that the plastic bag it’s been living in for the past couple of months really wasn’t too good. Fortunately it fits perfectly into my dry-bag.

In occasional fits of craziness I scoot up to the Lakes and rip animals apart and eat them [ Autumn 2009 ] and the past Bank Holiday Weekend was an occasional fit of craziness. Last time I headed up there I took a pop up tent with me and I don’t think people took me seriously, so this time I took a hammock and tarp…

Breakfast on day 1 was Langoustines. Basically you whip out your bush knife and sharpen a stick at both ends. One end of the stick gets pushed through the Langoustines face and the other end gets shoved into the ground near a fire which generates the following results…

Lunchtime of Day 1 was a choice of Lobster, Crab or Plaice. The Plaice was already dead, not much fun in that, so I opted for a Lobster. Drove my knife through its brain and lobbed it on the fire. Tasted goooood.

The rest of Day 1 was just a blur of Lobster Bisque, Lobster and Crab Thermidor, Fish parcels cooked in an underground oven made by heating rocks in a fire and collapsing it into the ground. Fun fun fun….until I had to get into my freezing cold hammock again. A foolish sense of manliness prevented me from putting up my popup tent and actually being warm, and you know, comfortable.

Day 2 started with Rare Breed Bacon and a baked in the fire Bannock.

The afternoon was spent ponassing a fresh trout which basically involves taking the head, tail and spine out of the trout. Splaying it between a split stick with some other sticks holding it open and ….yeah you guessed…sticking it next to a fire to cook for a while.

Of course, with all this food flying around one has to expel it somewhere. The toilet for the trip is a “tent” with a hole in the ground inside. It’s very liberating squatting over a hole in the ground to take a crap.

My ride on mower that we bought in the Summer that we bought the house is slowly falling apart. It’s hit trees and walls. Been ridden with 5 people clinging to it all over the place. The starter mechanism is held on with a tie-wrap, the collection tube is held on with a bungee chord and the front of the body work has fallen off. Now as you can see from above the skirt has snapped on it. It may be time for a shiny new one!

Took this picture during our relatively mild Winter. The picture was taken using the camera on the iPhone 4S.

I was taking the children for a fun Saturday morning out at the car wash [ yeah I know how to show my kids a good time ] when we spotted this Hillman Imp. It was the first car my Mum ever had. Made me smile. As a child I used to sniff the exhaust pipe whilst the car was running. Ahh, the innocence of 70s children.

After my recent run in with the chicken seller who wanted a ridiculous amount of cash for some more chickens [ to feed to Mr Fox ] I decided to grow my own.

Incubator and eggs from ebay – let’s see how this works out then!

isn’t it just the coolest thing ever?

Finally chopped them all down one side…and more importantly tidied all the branches away and nearly got around to burning them all. Chopping hawthorns is a nightmare of a job

Operation “chop the crap out of the Hawthorn bushes” got off to a flying start today. I’m halfway down one side of the garden and it’s only taken me about four hours. Jesus. I need a tractor with one of those Hawthorn chopping attachments…or a light sabre…or a big fence!

There’s still a shit load to do though 🙁

In an attempt to regain some space in my big boy shed I decided all the children’s toys just had to go. Since taking them all to the tip was quickly pooh poohed by the rest of the family I had to move an empty shed from the chicken coop down to the other end of the garden. Getting the shed back into pieces was easy enough, carrying it down the garden was kind easy enough too. But finding the good weather, motivation and requisite skills to put it back together eluded me for weeks. On Xmas eve everything came together in a perfect “storm” of enthusiasm and mild weather.

I can’t help but feel I’m getting better at this DIY business. I managed to take off the old, broken, security light. Strip the wires and drill some holes and then attach the new security light to the wall all without a single mistake. Yes I know the wall is looking awful but if we ever get around to extending then this wall will be coming down so we’re loathe to do anything about it.

…doing “Mustang Sally”, with assorted Wignall backing singers.

Saturday November 20th 2011 – My Ma’s 61st birthday party

As my wise friend Mark Riley said, two of the happiest days in a man’s life are the day he buys his boat and the day he sells his boat.

Today was a happy day!

It’s all a bit chilly at the end of the lane. Poor ducks.

It’s a bit of a different story from the post below…
September 2008

I spent a couple of days on a 400kV sub-station that basically provides the power for Leeds. The buzzing and popping of the electricity was smashing. I had to chuckle when I was in the portacabin canteen making a cup of tea and spotted a sign on the microwave saying “Danger high-voltage” before looking out of the window to see this….

I was having a bit of a potter in the garden on Sunday morning and decided I quite fancied a fire. Unfortunately all my outside burny wood was a tad wet. So I thought I’d make use of some poles and an old tarpaulin that I had laying around to construct a little wood store at the back of my office.

It’s not exactly something that Ray Mears would be proud of but it does the job. In a few weeks time it’ll all be nice and dry and I can satisfy my pyromaniac sensibilities.

John and I managed to get the boat in the water for the first time this year. It’s been a tough year to get up to the Lakes what with children, work, veggies and a lawn to take care of but we made it up anyway.

We also discovered that the boat yard has a jet wash for the boat owners to use……

Before:

After:

It can quite clearly be seen that our boat is white! Amazing.

It’ll look even better at the end of this month when the insurance pay up for a repaint of the hull, we’re going a nice navy blue. Watch out for the pics in October!

Amelia and I collected a pile of apples from our tree and then harvested blackberries from around the garden, and transformed them into this…

Twice a week I work from home in my office. The commute is a killer having to negotiate discarded children’s toys, swooping pigeons and carniverous chickens. The office walls are a bit bare at the moment, I’m looking for inspiration about what to put on them.

Also, my wife always complains that anybody reading this blog wouldn’t realise I have any children, so you get a live picture of Amelia and a picture of a picture of Oliver. Happy now dearest?

Before the building of my office was complete Amelia and I decided to create a model of it in Lego. We didn’t have any doors or enough windows or a roof. We made do instead with having a tree on the roof and getting into the office like Bow and Luke Duke and jumping in through the window.

I think we did pretty well considering.